Let’s talk about self development—but not in the typical way. I’m not here to hand you a new habit tracker or suggest another morning routine. Instead, I want to challenge you with something simpler and far more powerful: subtraction.
Some of the biggest breakthroughs I’ve experienced in my personal growth came not from what I added—but from what I removed.
If you want to accelerate your self development, here are the three things I stopped doing that changed everything for me:
1. I Stopped Complaining
Years ago, a friend and I did a challenge—no complaining for seven days. Sounds easy, right? Try it. No little gripes about the weather, the line at the grocery store, the slow internet. Zero complaints.
What I discovered was eye-opening. Complaining is subtle. It sneaks in and becomes a habit. And once I became aware of how often I was doing it, I realized it was blocking my progress in all areas—relationships, business, mindset.
This small shift changed the way I viewed discomfort. It reframed problems as opportunities. And it improved the way I showed up for my family and team. Removing complaints became one of the most powerful self development tools in my life.
Try this: go 24 hours without complaining. Then go 7 days. Watch your mindset evolve.
2. I Stopped Making Excuses
Everything is your fault. Every win, every loss, every missed opportunity—own it all. That mindset was a huge unlock for me.
Sure, life throws curveballs. But even then, I try to look at how I could’ve anticipated or mitigated the situation. It’s not about blame—it’s about responsibility.
When I took radical ownership of my outcomes, my self development accelerated. I stopped wasting energy pointing fingers and redirected that energy toward solutions and planning. I started preparing better, thinking ahead, and stepping up.
No more, “Yeah, but…”
Just: “It’s on me. Let’s fix it.”
3. I Stopped Listening to the Wrong People
Let’s be honest—Uncle Bob doesn’t know what a good website looks like, and your best friend from high school might not understand entrepreneurship or self development.
Yet we often seek their advice. Why?
Because it’s convenient. Because it feels safe.
But the truth is, your self development will stall if you keep asking for validation from people who haven’t been where you’re trying to go. I’ve paid for mentorship. I’ve built peer groups. I’ve joined masterminds. Not because I needed a cheerleader—but because I needed feedback from people who had already done what I was doing.
If you want to grow, start surrounding yourself with people who challenge you, not just support you. That’s the fast track to growth.
Final Thoughts
Self development isn’t just about what you’re willing to do. It’s also about what you’re willing to stop doing. So start by removing the three things that are likely slowing you down the most:
- Complaining
- Making excuses
- Listening to the wrong people
This kind of subtraction makes space for growth. It makes space for action. It clears the path forward.
Get rid of what’s holding you back so you can become who you’re meant to be.
Let’s get to work.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Time-Stamped Show Notes
- 00:30 – Why subtraction is key to self development
- 01:12 – The seven-day no complaining challenge
- 03:05 – How complaining subtly shapes your mindset
- 04:00 – Why I stopped making excuses
- 06:08 – Radical ownership and its impact on growth
- 08:00 – The danger of taking advice from the wrong people
- 10:15 – Why mentors and masterminds accelerate self development
- 11:45 – Final challenge: remove these three things
- 12:30 – Closing thoughts on subtraction and progress