220: How Stoicism is Ruining Your Life
Jun 24, 2025
Does Stoicism Make You Depressed? Here's What I Learned
When I first came across stoicism, I thought it was just about being tough—enduring hardships, showing no emotion, and grinding through life like nothing could touch me. As an entrepreneur, that idea was appealing. After all, running a business often feels like braving one emotional storm after another.
But over time, I’ve learned there’s a difference between authentic stoicism—the actual Greek philosophy—and what researchers now call “naive stoicism,” which can easily push you toward emotional suppression, isolation, and even depression if you’re not careful.
Let’s dig into what stoicism really is, how it can be misapplied, and how I use it today as a framework for mental clarity, emotional resilience, and personal growth.
Two Very Different Definitions of Stoicism
If you Google "stoicism," you’ll see two definitions:
The endurance of pain or hardship without showing feelings.
The ancient Greek philosophy built on virtue, rationality, and living in accordance with nature.
That first definition is what a lot of people practice, even unknowingly. I used to be one of them. I bottled up emotions, convinced myself I was being strong, and even started to drift into apathy. But that isn’t what stoicism is meant to be.
Authentic stoicism encourages emotional awareness, rational response, and purposeful action. It teaches you to understand what’s in your control and what’s not—and to act accordingly.
The Naive Stoicism Trap
Over the years, I’ve recognized four major ways naive stoicism can backfire:
1. Emotional Suppression
Real stoicism doesn’t ask you to ignore your emotions. It asks you to name them, understand them, and respond rationally. When you suppress emotions, you become irritable, isolated, and mentally drained.
2. Chronic Negative Visualization
I used to justify constant worst-case-scenario planning as smart risk management. But without balancing it with daily gratitude, it quickly became toxic. Real stoic practice includes gratitude alongside preparation.
3. Isolation as Self-Reliance
Stoicism doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Marcus Aurelius wrote letters. Seneca had conversations. Journaling, discussion, and community are part of the path—not weaknesses.
4. Never Asking for Help
Refusing to seek support is not strength; it’s pride. If you want to live out real stoic virtues, get therapy, join a mastermind, or at least have people you can talk to. Don’t let the “tough guy” act break you.
Practicing Authentic Stoicism
Here’s my current checklist for staying grounded in real stoic practice:
Dichotomy of Control: Feel what you feel. Then ask—can I control this? If not, move forward rationally.
Daily Review: Start your day with an intention (a virtue to practice) and end it with an audit of how you did.
Community of Equals: Surround yourself with people who sharpen you—not ones who let you stagnate.
Mood Tracking: Use a simple 1–10 scale to track your mood daily. Look for trends. Reflect. Adjust.
Know Your Red Line: If apathy is creeping in, it’s a signal. Revisit your practices. Reconnect with people. Reaffirm your purpose.
Stoicism isn’t about never feeling. It’s about feeling with purpose—and responding with clarity. When practiced correctly, stoicism builds resilience, not distance. It makes you stronger, not colder. And ultimately, it helps you master yourself.
And when you’re better—your business gets better too.
But to practice stoicism with intention and purpose, you’re going to have to try harder.
Time-Stamped Show Notes
0:30 — Does stoicism make you depressed? Defining the problem
1:40 — Two studies with conflicting outcomes on stoicism and mental health
3:20 — Naive vs. authentic stoicism: The key difference
4:30 — My personal struggle with emotional suppression
6:10 — Emotional numbness: Military feedback and parenting reflection
8:00 — Four traps of naive stoicism: Starting with suppression
9:10 — Negative visualization without gratitude
11:00 — Self-reliance to the point of isolation
12:30 — The danger of never asking for help
13:40 — How to practice real stoicism: Checklists and habits
14:50 — Dichotomy of control and feeling emotions
15:30 — Morning intentions and evening audits
16:10 — The power of community and mood tracking
17:10 — Know when you’re slipping into apathy
18:00 — Stoicism as a tool for self-mastery and business growth
18:40 — Final word: It’s not about being emotionless. It’s about being intentional.
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