the day I realized my fire was dying

hey friend,

September 2014.
I’m sitting in a cubicle at 2:17 PM.

fluorescent lights buzzing overhead.
gray carpet.
beige walls.

my 22-year-old boss walks over.
he’s the owner’s son.
just graduated college three weeks ago.

“hey Jerred,” he says, “how can we make you win in your role here?“
he was trying out phrases he heard his parents say…

I stare at him like this…
think: this is my life now.

six months earlier, I was flying multi-million dollar aircraft.
leading teams of 40 people.
now I’m watching a kid “play boss.”

but the paycheck was steady.
the work wasn’t stressful.
my family was taken care of.

I was comfortable.
and comfort was killing me.

that night, I’m watching TV with my wife.
some show about fitness.
I light up… I tell Emily all about all the fitness-related stuff I’d been reading.

my wife looks at me. “you should be doing this."
"doing what?,” I said.
she said, “Coaching.”

that’s when I realized: I had failed the fire test.

we all have a fire inside us.
an innate desire to build something.
to matter.
to grow.

but comfort is like carbon monoxide.
odorless.
invisible.
deadly.

it doesn’t kill you quickly.
it just makes you sleepy.
makes you think everything’s fine while your dreams suffocate.

I was earning good money.
had benefits.
job security.

but my fire was dying.

the next morning, I made a list. two columns.

column one: “If I stay comfortable for 10 years.”
column two: “If I bet on myself for 10 years.”

column one looked safe.
predictable.
soul-crushing.

column two looked terrifying.
uncertain.
alive.

I quit that day.

my first week as an entrepreneur? made $200.

but something incredible happened.
the fire came roaring back.

I started waking up at 4 AM because I was excited to work.
reading books again. taking risks. feeling alive.

here’s the truth: your fire is either growing or dying. there’s no middle ground.

every day you choose comfort over growth, you’re choosing death over life.

every day you avoid the thing that scares you, you’re avoiding the thing that could save you.

the fire test is simple: when’s the last time you felt truly alive?
when’s the last time you were excited about tomorrow?

if you can’t remember, your fire is dying.

what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
what would you build?
who would you become?

stop waiting for permission.
stop waiting for the “right time.”

your fire is waiting.

try harder,

JM

P.S. - comfort will always feel safer than growth. but safe isn’t living. take one step toward your fire today, even if it terrifies you.